Doctor Sparkles

Lyrics

Say, hey, have you heard of the Jumping Flea Circus. It’s the show connecting all of us
By the four strings that we play as we sing and dance in a cabaret
Anything goes with a ukulele - Tiny Tim meets Barnum and Bailey
Play in the Jumping Flea Circus and see how the circus becomes you and me with a ukulele

DS: Ladies and Gentlemen, weirdos, queers, and freaks of nature
Welcome to the Jumping Flea Circus
Tonight’s musical guests include:
The Duke of Uke, Hot Time Harv McFine, The Fanny Slap Dancer,
Seth Death, Stinky Arbuckle & Sonic Uke. I’m Doctor Sparkles.
Remember, anything goes with a ukulele, so enjoy the show…

DoU:
Well, you can call me the Duke of Ukule–le.
Where exactly that is I can’t exactly say
But I can tell you that my uke is always near
So pick your pipe up and take a giant toke,
Spill your laughter into a lonely joke,
Live a love song now the Duke of Uke is here…
The stars are in your eyes, the moon floating by, the Universe is high…
And reminisces over a summer lake,
Blowing kisses to dream the night awake
And sings a love song until sun comes up next year
Let’s live a love song now the Duke of Uke is here

HTHM:
Mammy, thank you for keepin your boobies
Too many dames get reductions.
Mammary abductions ain’t on milk cartons like they should be
They say bazongas were made just for babies
But fun bags the whole world around were the first playground.
Thanks for the mammaries!
Hot Time Harv is feelin woozy.
Your pulchritude is making my pants pound
Them tits like ripe to milk! I see a dairy dream delight
Between my rollercoaster of kicks and your Mam-mary-go-round
I’ve planned a gland holiday.
I’m gonna honk them hooters every way
I’m gonna faceplant in your boobie pie, what a way to die!
Thanks for the mammaries!




SD:
O Lord help me find some piece of mind.
O Lord help me find some piece of mind
Lost it in the food line in the pouring rain
Lost in a smoke cloud with my will to complain
O Lord help Seth find some piece of mind

Please Lord liberate this police state
Please Lord liberate this police state
Cops dressed in riot gear outside my door
Ain’t sure the blues is even legal any more
O Lord liberate this police state

SA: Well, my friends call me Stinky Arbuckle,
But I don’t know where they get the “Arbuckle” part.
Ah, all names are gimmicks.
Identify with a problem you’re a problem.
Sometimes you gotta go back to where you started to see it doesn’t get any better.
Sometimes you gotta go back to remember why you left in the first place.
We've been turning into ourselves for so long,
I think we’re finally turning back into each other.
I reckon, Thoughts are like boogers… the deep ones are hard to get.
The sooner you pull your head out of your ass,
The sooner you’ll find your ass is all in your head.
You know there are three kinds of people…
Those you can count on and those who don’t know how to count.

SU:
Two, Three, Four

We’d just assume disappear from the world, but our destiny won’t allow it.
Forget the past, the future’s today, and we’re gonna lay it on you now…
It’s a ukulele re-vo-lu¬-tion…

We’re Sonic Uke, but it’s just for show until enough can believe it
The song we sing is solid love. Prepare to receive it…
It’s a ukulele re-vo-lu¬-tion…

DS:
Well, that's our show, folks.
And so we leave you with a Doctor Sparkles Recreative Thought for the day...
There would be less fighting in the world if Americans were required to carry ukuleles.
Though I shudder to think of the inevitable mandatory ukulele insurance legislation that would result.